Chaz-ness and Chow-ness

When I proposed marriage to Chaz, it was because of the best possible reason: I wanted to be married to this woman. Howard Stern asked me on the radio one day if I thought of Chaz as being black every time I looked at her. I didn't resent the question. Howard Stern's gift is the nerve to ask personal questions. I told him, honestly, that when I looked at her I saw Chaz. Chaz. A fact. A person of enormous importance to me. Chaz. A history. Memories. Love. Passion. Laughter. Her Chaz-ness filled my field of vision. Yes, I see that she is black, and she sees that I am white, but how sad it would be if that were in the foreground.

via blogs.suntimes.com

Moving piece by Roger Ebert on the recent Miller Valley Elementary School mural controversy.

This excerpt and his story about the "warsher woman"'s son remind me a lot of growing up. My dad is Chinese, born in Hong Kong but raised in the US. Though it sounds strange, it wasn't until children at school made fun of my last name "Chow" that I really realized that my dad was Chinese and that I was half (or as I proudly state to this day, "Hapa"). To me, "Daddy" was always Daddy, not "Chinese Daddy". My dad is the man who's loved and cared for me for my entire life. That will never change. And while I'm exceptionally proud that his and my mom's heritages beautifully mix into mine, as Ebert says "...how sad would it be if that were in the foreground."

Comments

[Jennifer]

Beautiful post. You took Ebert's comments and substantiated them with your own story.

[.tiff]

Thank you Jennifer. That's really nice of you to say.